Having spent much time in the mirror the team's afros are mature and shimmer with determination. The team picks up their space helmets as the board the newly built UCSC Harley Davidson Space Shuttle (HDSS). While strapping in they are briefed by the instructor on the zombie threat. The zombies have been sucking the student’s life force, financial aid, from the California Galaxy. In this struggle many of their kilted brothers have been lost fighting bravely and the team realizes that the journey ahead is long. Their mission is to retrieve a GE and with it their futures as well as that of that California Galaxy will remain hopeful.
NICE haha, awesome writing Mac
ReplyDeletei think it sounds really good. Wait did you send out a email with the official meeting time?
ReplyDeleteI think this sounds really great! Just a few minor edits--take them or leave them.
ReplyDeleteHaving spent much time in front of the mirror the team's afros have matured and shimmer with determination. The team picks up their space helmets as they board the newly built UCSC Harley Davidson Space Shuttle (HDSS). While strapping in, they are briefed by an instructor on the current zombie threat. Zombies have been sucking the student’s life force and financial aid from the California Galaxy. In this struggle, many of their kilted brothers have been lost fighting bravely and the team realizes that the journey ahead is long. Their mission is to retrieve a GE and with it, their futures living within the California Galaxy will be secure.
Laura financial aid is the student life force or the name of it like blood and air its like that. Other than that what does everyone else think of her rewrite
ReplyDelete